So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?