you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
