I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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