honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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