Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
