Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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