I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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