I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
try to milk me bitch
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