WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
