whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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