Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.