Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
