This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize