Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was like eating out sand paper
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Farmville is her only friend.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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