I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
sex in a hospital.. check
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize