He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
