Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
