Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
