dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
