Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
