I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
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just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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