i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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