Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
