So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
