i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
