Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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