the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize