You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
