right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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