This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize