you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
