I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize