This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
