She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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