He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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