so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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