i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
