I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
