4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
