I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
