I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
