so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm like, not good at living.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize