I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
