she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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