She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
