yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
