I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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