There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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