don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
