i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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