Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
