you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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