I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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