I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
