Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize