I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well you can't waste a boner
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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