I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
