I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
