No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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